Let’s Go to Vegas & Rock Crawl in a Jeep

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     Yeah, we did that. Forget gambling in Las Vegas. We went for the full-on adrenaline junkie outdoor adventure with Las Vegas Rock Crawlers on the Logandale Trails. And those trails were no joke. Owners Tim and Quinann let us know that the difficulty level of these trails on a 1-10 scale is a 7. If Logandale is a 7, then I don’t want to see a 10. Ever.
     Here’s what I’ve learned. When my husband says, “Yeah Honey, we’re going to have a little adventure together,” I say, “You have fun with that. I’ll be at the spa.” It’s not like I don’t know Damian. The man jumps out of planes and bungee jumps off bridges. What was I thinking? Apparently I wasn’t, because we pretty much lost our minds and decided to jump in that red Jeep Wrangler. Las Vegas Rock Crawlers is an apt name – those Jeeps literally crawl through the most amazing and terrifying rock obstacles. We crawled that Jeep through some beautiful red rocks – it was totally insane. And while it was terrifying, and I am apparently a rock-crawling weenie, we did love it, and I can’t say enough good things about Las Vegas Rock Crawlers.
     But let me back up and begin at the beginning. We started the tour by meeting several other groups of people (who were also driving that day) on the rooftop deck of The Wynn Hotel at 7:30 AM. There were 2 other couples and a family of 4. The family drove a 4-door Jeep, the rest of us had 2-door Jeeps. We signed some forms and then headed up to Moapa (which is a Native American reservation) to begin our adventure.
     We drove 60 miles in a caravan up to Moapa, and it was FREEZING COLD. We were the last to sign up, so we got the oldest Jeep of the bunch. It’s from 1998, open in the back, and temps were running in the thirties that morning. I had myself wrapped up in a blanket with the heat blasting, and my toes still felt like ice cubes by the time we got there. Not to mention how loud that thing was. Damian and I literally had to yell to hear each other when we were blasting down the highway toward our destination. I must say, being in that caravan was pretty bad ass – people all along the road craned their necks to look at us. It’s not something you see every day – a caravan of red Jeep Wranglers with massive tires barreling down the highway together.
     Before we reached the trail, we stopped at a gas station to let the air out of the tires and flip the Jeeps into 4-wheel drive. From there, it was about 2 miles out to the trails. Once we reached the trail head, there were no other people around. It was amazingly isolated and quiet, and it struck me then that, if any of us got stuck, it was going to be up to us to get unstuck. Or rather up to the rest of the caravan, because I’d probably be busy quaking in fear and/or crying in a bush somewhere.
     Tim instructed all of us to get out of our Jeeps and then showed us the first obstacle. When he said, “So your left front tire is going to drive over this rock right here” – and that rock was straight up and down, I thought he was joking! He was not joking. Tim doesn’t joke about rock crawling. He explained, in terrifying detail, the way to navigate the first obstacle, then I watched with my jaw hanging open as he then demonstrated with his Jeep. Guess who got to go next? Us! And we had the oldest Jeep! Which meant the one that would be hardest to navigate through the obstacles.
     Great. We’re gonna die.
     I got in the Jeep, belted myself in, and white-knuckled my way through that obstacle. Tim stood outside on the rocks and talked Damian through it over my screams of protest. No I am not kidding. I was literally screaming. The Jeep was tilted so far to the right that we were pretty much sideways and my face was about 5 inches from a rock. I thought Damian was going to flip us for sure. I can’t believe we didn’t flip. But Tim was totally calm, and that kept Damian totally calm. I was not calm. My heart was hammering in my chest and I was so scared that I scared the crap out of the rest of the wives. Well, 2 out of the 3 – the family of 4 were totally fearless.
     I got out of the Jeep after that obstacle and did not ride through the next one. I hiked it on my feet. Feet that I trust, unlike my rookie husband driving that ancient Jeep. Damian who said, “Yeah, we might flip,” like he was saying, “Yeah, we might get a steak later.” Nonchalant. Gah! Roll bar or not, I did not want to end up upside down or rolling down the side of a cliff. Thanks, but no thanks. One benefit to my screaming-banshee escape from Jeep was that I was able to get some great photos. Like this one of Damian manning his way through the second insane obstacle. That’s Tim on the rock talking him through/taking his picture.
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     Take a look at his left front wheel. Not. On. The. Ground.
     After that, I rode with the company owner. Really. I knew that Tim wasn’t going to flip his Jeep, and even though going through the obstacles was still going to terrify me, I wasn’t going to die. Though there was a chance that Damian was going to bite it, but I figured that was his choice. Here he is, grinding his wheels and slipping while not biting it. Like a boss.
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     So I asked if Tim’s wife, Quinann, would switch with me, and she kindly agreed. She was awesome – so laid back and friendly. Just the perfect personality, along with her husband, for guiding a bunch of rookies through a really difficult course and keeping idiots like me from losing our heads. She was also helpful for Damian, because she could help guide him through the obstacles from the passenger seat. The more difficult obstacles Tim guided each Jeep through one at a time, but Damian still benefited from her experience for the easier crawls. She’d say, “Hug that bush!” – and Damian would hug the bush with his wheel, which is not something he otherwise would have thought of. Damian got his man card punched. I got my weenie card punched. I’m okay with that. I didn’t stop the production or ruin anybody else’s trip, so who cares? And now I can say that I did it. Here’s some proof that I did it, in case you’re really not sure at this point.
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     We crawled through those rocks for hours, and then we hit some dunes. That’s what I’d initially thought we’d be doing. Blasting around the dunes – weee! Nope. We did that for about an hour, and it was fun, but it was almost like an afterthought following the harrowing red rock journey. Here’s a shot of us in the dunes. The landscape was breathtaking, however, and not to be missed.
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     One other highlight was gunning the Jeep up a steep dirt hill. Tim did this maneuver without giving me any warning, and we were about halfway up the hill before I even knew what was going on. Which was good – less time to freak out. At the top we parked, got out, and enjoyed one of the most magnificent views I’ve ever seen. Just gorgeous sun and red rocks all around us. That part was really peaceful and nice. I think my heart rate returned to normal for that portion of the trip. This is the hill – and that’s Damian gunning it with Quinann in the passenger seat.
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     When Damian and Quinann crested that hill, she gave me a look of faux fright and said, “Get me outta here! He’s a maniac!” Cracked me up.
     Another benefit to riding with the owner was listening to his tales of previous tour guests as well as other off-roading experiences he’s had. He talked about a place called Cliffhanger in Utah that even had him rattled, and this guy doesn’t rattle easily. He also shared stories of other people who were frightened by the experience – some who made it happen, some who saw the first obstacle and flat out refused. I’m glad I didn’t quit – it was an unforgettable experience, and one that I don’t regret. Maybe one day I’ll have the guts to go back and do it again and actually stay in the Jeep. Or drive the Jeep. On the highway.
     We stopped at a park area and ate lunch together – sandwiches, chips, and water, which was nice – I was so busy fearing my imminent death complete with several broken bones that I didn’t consider the fact that I was actually really hungry.
     After that, it was back to the strip. We dropped the Jeep off at the Wynn and headed off for adventures that are more my speed. At the Beer Park.
     If adrenaline is your thing, and you like off-roading, do this. I’d love to hear about your adventures from the comfort and safety of my couch.

Vegas Baby!

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Last week we went to Las Vegas to visit my in-laws. And may I just say, what a great place for my in-laws to live! I mean really – you can’t pick where your family lives, but if you could, I think I’d go with minutes off of the Vegas strip. The whole week was a blast thanks to not only the location but also the fabulous hosting abilities of my husband’s father and his wife. Many thanks to them!

The trip began with a 5-hour flight with Team Crazy. Enough said about that. We spent a leisurely Saturday afternoon once we arrived, and then we kicked it up a notch with crab picking on Sunday. Crab picking in the desert – I’m still not over the thrill of that. And the crabs were fantastic. But they’d have to be, right? Because the crabs you get are the ones hardy enough to survive the flight. Add some Fat Tire, and now you’re cooking with gas. I love crab picking – it’s such a fun social event. Corey is all in, too – he calmly and expertly picked 3 extra-large crabs all by himself.

Monday was a day at the water park. Wet ‘N Wild. The ladies begged off of that event – can’t imagine why when there are giant water slides which mimic such fun pastimes as being flushed down a giant toilet – and went shopping. Ah, shopping. The ladies came home with full shopping bags. The boys came home bronze-skinned, blonde-haired, and totally zonked out from their day in the water and sun. They were still zombies the next morning – score!

We hit the Mac King Comedy/Magic Show with the kids on Tuesday afternoon, and it was a riot! Damian found a super deal on the net, and we scored tickets (normally $40 each plus a 1 drink minimum) for $15 apiece, including a drink voucher. Sweet! My father-in-law spotted the usher a $10, and we got seats in the front row. Out of all of us, Corey really wanted to go on stage. Damian really did not. Guess who went up? That’s right! My husband. Still, he was a good sport and played along. Mac King did some funny card tricks with him, stole his watch, and offered him a Budweiser bottle (which he later signed) – it was all good fun. The boys certainly loved seeing their daddy up on the stage.

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Above is a shot of us on our way to Jersey Boys later that night, which I loved. We were NOT the demographic. In case you’re not familiar with the play, it’s all about Frankie Valli when he was coming up – his time with The Four Seasons, his history with his family, etc. I learned a lot, recognized all the songs, but what I was most blown away by was the sheer vocal capability of the kid who play Frankie. He literally had a guitar, a bass, a keyboard, a drum set, and a horn section consisting of SIX guys behind him, and he was blowing them all away. Amazing.

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This is a shot of the Bellagio atrium at night. I am always amazed by the beauty and creativity of the floral arrangements and sculptures. We wandered about in there for a bit after Jersey Boys, then we stopped in Sensei for a lobster sushi roll and a glass of malbec. And people watching. Always a treat to people watch in Vegas. For me, anywhere really. I’m like that.

The next night was our night of freedom. Woot woot! Every year the grandparents graciously offer to watch the boys for 24 hours, and Damian and I take full advantage of this opportunity. This year we stayed in the Venetian. I’d never stayed there before, and it’s around the location we like best on the strip, so I was excited. Damian used a trick he’d learned on the net (perfectly legal, of course) to score us some upgrades, including a pool/strip view on a higher floor, as well as no extra resort/early check-in fees. A round of applause for my brilliant husband. This is the view from our room.

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That night we went to dinner at Nobu, the famous Japanese place on the strip in the Hard Rock Hotel. It was FABULOUS. WARNING: I am about to describe this meal in enough detail to put you into a food coma right in front of your computer. If that’s not your thing, skip ahead to the next paragraph. So, we did the chef’s tasting menu with a bottle of pinot noir, and everything I ate was like nothing I’d ever had before. We started with a seaweed wrap that was shaped like a cone and filled with sprouts, carrots, avocado, and a heavenly ginger/peanut sauce. Next was a sashimi paste in the shape of a disc served with wasabi/scallions/caviar over a bed of banana leaves with a Japanese pear as a palate cleanser. After that, a plate of sashimi in a long thin dish, from left to right a piece of ahi tuna, a piece of mackerel, a piece of fish that I can’t remember (but it was wildly presented with the skin on), and then a mini sponge cake as a palate cleanser. Onward to 3 pieces of sashimi served sideways as the outside of a tower, in the center was a salad with a creamy cilantro sauce – also amazing. Next it was 3 pieces of yellowtail served in a bright lemon sauce with ginger and scallions (maybe my favorite cold dish). On to the hot dishes – first there was a hot piece of buttery melt-in-your-mouth sea bass with a bbq/teriaki sauce – heavenly good. Then a plate of super-thin rare kobi beef served sizzling on a plate of diced peppers & onions. I was ready to wave my white flag, but then out came a bowl of miso soup with a giant scallop in it. And finally – finally! – dessert – which was a chocolate lava cake topped with white chocolate and served in a wooden box with green-tea iced cream next to it. Fantastic fantastic fantastic!

The next morning brought our annual breakfast visit to Mon Ami Gabi in the Paris Hotel. We sat right on the strip, where the people-watching before 10 AM is killer, and we enjoyed wonderful french food and strong coffee. Damian had waffles and strawberries, and I had a ratatouille omelet with fruit, fresh toast and home-made jam. As we watched the people stroll by on the strip, at first we thought we weren’t going to see anything interesting. The weather was mild, and a lot of joggers were out and about. What’s up with these health nuts on the strip? I mean, really. Lots of tourists with coffee cups passed by and people-watched US as we ate! What’s up with that?

But then our luck started to change. We saw a dude double fisting two open bottles of Budweiser, some guys who’d clearly been up all night and were strolling by with beer cans, a guy smoking a doobie, and finally a bride and groom. Yes! My quota was filled. As was my coffee cup. Fun.

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The other highlight of the trip, outside of all the fantastic food and wine we ate and drank with my in-laws, was the giant Ferris Wheel – the High Roller. This thing is a beast, offering non-stop motion and killer views of the city. Here are my guys enjoying the heights together. Oh! And I nearly forgot the Pinball Museum! Heaven for Corey with row upon row of pinball machines from all different eras, all supporting the Salvation Army.

Overall, it was a wonderful experience as always. Except for Sharknado 2. I survived it, but I don’t recommend it. I recommend all the rest of it, though! Can’t wait for next year.

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